Poems

ThRee simple words

Three words together
Are all I can find?
To tell you the way I feel
And so I say them
As I have before
But still
I want to tell you more

So I give you a kiss
And hold you tight
To go with my words so few
And try to express the way I feel
In a different way for you

Three words that’s all
No more can I find
To tell you the way I feel
And so I say them
Again, once more
Forgetting
I’ve told you before

Then you give me a kiss
And look into my eyes
That’s when you tell me too
These words
Three words
We both know will do
“I LOVE YOU”

Poems

^^Only You^^

So far but yet near!!!
My love flows from so many sources
but directed to only one channel,
It falls as a rain
but only drop on one person,
It glows like a sun
but only shines on one person.
Who could this person be?
I wonder why it is so
but I later realised that
I can’t share my love with any other person
but only YOU, the one that makes me whole.

Uncategorized

letter to Alice………….

My dear,

 Thank you for ur letter… glad u be able to write to me at last..haha!!! My new year.. nothing special. NY eve with 1 of my online friend and him, he’s home early that day.. he promised to company me. My wish for 2010 is to meet him and for along holiday.. that is my aim rite now.

 Wow…we really going to be 10 yrs… how we going to celebrate it?? Do u remember the actual day? Normally we using Shane b’day for our day, cos is easy to remember. We been thinking the same idea, staying in the hotel and we have fun, I see whether I call Sharon or not.. still not sure yet. We still have another yr to go.

Why you so ‘cham’…need to work during PH and without OT some more..why the management cant afford to pay u meh?? How many of you is going to Cyberjaya to work??? Kesian you lah.

 You going to HK again in CNY all b’cos of HINS. Why didn’t u tell me earlier that you going cos I wanted to go too but not for concert loh. I need company to go actually and I’m not familiar with the place. Who u going with? Friends or u alone? Well, I guess u already told ur mum by now? What her reaction when u told her? Since I have a week holiday during NY, I’m thinking of going somewhere instead of staying at home or visiting…bosannya!!! If I intend to go HK will u company me?? So nice u can celebrate valentines and NY with HINS…happy lah.. I ‘ll be celebrate it with him…(I guess) due to our time different. Ohya !!! I received his x-mas gift on NY eve, he sending me a pendant and a card. You don’t want to know what he wrote in the card…is so romantic leh…hehe!!!! And fridge magnet that I requested.

 Actually I intend to go this year to HK …to meet him. He told me he has  a crappy, stressful and tiring at work. I more thing he told me is that he don’t think he can last much longer without me, he need me, frustrated and doubtful it will never happen. He hate being this lonely and unhappy knowing he have someone to spend his life with. When he told me that… I was speechless.. don’t know what to said. So I told him to send me some money, so I could get a tix, but he don’t have that much as well. He said we could meet somewhere…like HK, Vancouver, Hawaii or some other places. I remember one of my friend is going in april, so I ask him whether he could get leave? Till now, he haven’t get back to me.. but I know the answers , that he’s not going…LL My friend is going with her hubby and son. Don’t worry, that why my friend ask me to follow if I want to..at least I have company. I told him that if he couldn’t make it, we could met up another year, we could see each other thru cam, but not much lately, since he busy with his overtime.. he work hard for the money…save more . I know I’ll be disappointed if we didn’t and I;m the one who suggest this..otherwise he’ll keep on asking me about it. He said…he cant wait for another year, it got to be this year…but…still no news yet…….i decided to go Melbourne alone, is been 9 yrs I haven’t been there, feel like going again…. Sorry, u listen to all my nonsense…but I just want to voice out that all…

Why suddenly add another idol huh??? Actually, I didn’t see that singing competition, sometime when they on the programme , just see see only. Yeap , I did notice the vid clip that u post in fb and ur profil mostly in mandarin..so I didn’t put any comment loh.

My dear, u wont feel sorry for all ur other idol ar??? I don’t have any more idol beside westlife, but I do buy album fr other artistes, when I find the songs is nice or download it, but usually I ask Sharon to do it..hehe!!! I won’t said you crazy lah but don’t get into it…that all !!! but I know that what u enjoy it most. You can fly every where to meet them, u fly to HK to meet HINS (I lost count…leh) then to Korea to see ‘OPPA’( lost count too) but westlife and Ronan u never been loh..(very sad rite) any other that I left out???

Why suddenly change to 15 songs instead of 10 ar? Anyway here my 15 songs but MY LOVE also my no#1 too…yeah!!!! All my dream will take me there, where the sky a blue, I see you once again

  1. MY LOVE
  2. THAT’S WHERE YOU FIND LOVE
  3. I’M ALREADY THERE
  4. OBVIOUS
  5. UNBREAKABLE
  6. FOOL AGAIN
  7. US AGAINST THE WORLD
  8. SOMETHING RIGHT
  9. AS LOVE IS MY WITNESS
  10. MANDY
  11. CLOSE
  12. NO PLACE THAT FAR
  13. WHEN U LOOKING LIKE THAT
  14. WHEN A WOMEN LOVES A MAN
  15. HOME

Oh!!! Top 3 from the latest album.. 1. AS LOVE IS MY WITNESS 2. LEAVING  3. NO MORE HEROES…..those lyrics is so meaningful. I’ll see you again…also nice…but those are my top 3…

My favourite MTV r :

  1. MY LOVE
  2. OBVIOUS
  3. IF I LET YOU GO
  4. U RAISE ME UP
  5. TONIGHT
  6. FOOL AGAIN
  7. US AGAINST THE WORLD
  8. UNBREAKABLE
  9. HOME
  10. UPTOWN GIRL

Well, that about it…all my favourite songs. I hope you like the present that I get it 4 u, u can use it when going to HK, and I’m waiting for your story when u back then. Have a nice trip and enjoy ur concert, valentine and new year with HINS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND HAPPY VALENTINE

Love always

-daphne- (24th jan 10)

Uncategorized

letter to kent…………..

 

Is what i need to tell him in my letter..and gift for valentine……

My love,

All I see when I close my eyes is YOU. I see you in my dreams. I keep wishing you were here. You’re everywhere to me whenever I see a happy couple the emptiness is more profound. I cannot forget the first time we see each other thru webcam.

I look at your picture and smile…when I ‘m down all I need is one word from you and I’m smiling thru the day. U make me  smile… you know me inside out the way I know you.

I’m a bit disappointed that I can’t actually met you even though we wanted to meet each other but money is the cost of everything.. no matter how hard we try. I want you to save more or get a better loan next year or later in the summer. U working hard now day… u tired when u get home..we didn’t talk much lately although we have cam now, we don’t see each other often either.*sigh* Is seen every thing far apart….and it wouldn’t be the same as last time..Every morning and night I’m waiting for your txt msg too.

You are all the matters to me and cherish. I always dream that one day you could give me a surprise. I wanted to share everything with and I yearned to have someone close … to share things with and to live my life with……just like the poem ……………u are my last stop!!! ( for me)

Anyway, happy valentine to you.. will try to call you when I can.. is almost 2 months I didn’t call, will txt u first before I call. Enclosed herewith an angpow packets with money (don’t throw it away, lol) and a purse. Hope you like the present. I wish the purse will make you to save more and every thing that u wish for will come true…. Remember, that I always love you and miss you soooo much.

Enjoy ur holiday…u won’t be on most of the time..

                                                                                                                       Love always

                                                                                                                        -daphne-

every second after the first… I DREAM of YOU
everyday passing that first…
I hope to spent my life with YOU…
true love dreams do come true
the DREAM i have to LIVE with YOU…

true HOPE of everlasting LOVE
with the promises made…
with all that i have
i am willing to give…
i PROMISE you this…
MY FIRST TRUE LOVE…shall be my last…
again…remember what i said to you my love…
YOU ARE MY LAST STOP!!

 send to him on wed….27th when i out to jj

Uncategorized

Dear diary on 24th jan

I couldn’t sleep in the morning, bout 4am, i think of sending him an email, but I saw him online. I’m not going to approach him, but he didn’t talk to me for awhile… and our conversation …..   

Kent 

hey baby, you there? awake

4:04amDaphne

hi dear..yea, i’m

4:05amKent

how come youre awake at 4am,

4:05amDaphne

i cant sleep

4:05amKent

what are you doing on your busy weekend?

4:06amDaphne

helping out my mum , lot of thing need to do b4 new year, i hate when it come to n.y

4:07amKent

how come?

4:07amDaphne

lot of thing to do..making cookies, cleaning the house, and im doing all by myself, my mum wait for me to take leave

4:08amKent

well thats not good

4:08amDaphne

to help her with other things, that why i hate it\

4:09amKent

when is it going to be the other family members come and help, im tired of hearing you do everything and being taken advantage of

4:11amDaphne

u were busy urself too rite

4:11amKent

ive been busy working, and then sleeping is all, its not like i wasnt thinking of you

ive been busy trying to do things here to not be bored either

4:12amDaphne

but i feel like it`, is been aweek we didint chat

4:13amKent

you could of messaged me too, ive been looking for you, its your computer not working, ive been on many times

4:14amDaphne

i do,  i did on during working hours , but is not long, when i didnt see u on, i off it

4:16amKent

i look for you on msn and skype, your computer either not working or youre busy, i try to be on but ive been sleeping a lot as well trying not to get sick and very stressed out as well

4:17amDaphne

im on msn every morning, not really busy but boss come in early, need to off after an hrs or more, i dont want him to know that im online

4:18amKent

well im sorry things arent working out lately, but things happen when we are far apart, i dont want to feel guity for not being able to talk to you, ok

4:19amDaphne

some time, i feel we are far apart, like every thing change

4:21amKent

we are sweety, but i dont want to be blamed for it, i can help it sometimes ok, and niether can you, we either have to live with it or do something about it, nothings changed how i feel if you think it has then you must be changing

4:21amDaphne

im not changing at all

4:22amKent

then why do you think i am?

4:22amDaphne

i didnt say that either

4:24amKent

yes you did in not so many words, im doing everything in my power to stay happy and to make you happy, but i feel sometimes that its not that way because im supposedly not there for you when you need me, I CANT HELP IT

4:25amDaphne

either do i

4:27amKent

idk what to do anymore, i just want you here, end of story

4:27amDaphne

as i say i want that to..but money is the cost of everything, im trying my best to save up. and so do u

4:29amKent

i know and its not working, and i feel the pressure from myself to be with you and the pressure you give me sometimes for not being there, i just want us together and im frustrated

4:30amDaphne

im not giving u any pressure, but we do need each other ,when we unhappy, stress and      

4:32amKent

yep, anyways we will work it out sometime, you try to go back to sleep my love, i love you and miss you and enjoy the rest of your weekend

4:32amDaphne

Ok, i love you and miss you too

4:33amKent

i won tbe on til after 9pm my time tom night going out with friends fir football playoffs

4:33amDaphne

u enjoy ur weekend as well

4:33amKent

text me later or i ll text you soon

4:33amDaphne

ok..

4:33amKent

go to sleep and dont worry or be upset

4:34amDaphne

i trying not to think about it

4:34amKentt

ok, gnite

4:34amDaphne

nite..xoxoxo

Uncategorized

Dear diary on 22nd jan

After the incident on that day..  I didn’t chat with him at all..not even email or txt msg. I know he is on but I just doesn’t wanted to talk.. I’m still upset. I put in my profile in fb..saying that “fall sick liao”… he txt me in his morning asking me I’m okie or sick again.. he been okie..and we will talk tonight… I love you..i just reply ok, love him too..I did bring my laptop today, he txt in the morning saying he be on in a while, taking a nap, but I ask him to txt me when he on. I did on and off my laptop but he still not on either.. I send him a txt msg, whether he still asleep. He only reply me bout 12.10pm, he sleep thru everything, and he’s sorry !!!! I told him I don’t feel go myself..so forget bout it.

I’m having a terrible headache..could be migraine. I did post in my fb profile too. I really feel not rite today. Boss did come in for a while, asking me to pay his premium. In the afternoon, that teacher come to submit a case just a the client name and that it, and asking me to pay for premium as well.. I have really no mood and I tell her, why can’t u pay for urself.. she told me a lot of ppl, which I know she laying, cos that day really not many ppl at all. I really not happy, and my boss asking me to go downstair to send cheque to his client, he know that I don’t feel good. Im not happy when he ask me to, but I force to go, and I really take my own sweet time to go down. The medicine is not working at all, I take another one when I get home and sleep early.. and needing to wake up early on sat morning, to help my mum. *sigh* he didn’t txt me but I did txt him, he been out, tt me soon, I love you..that bout it.. Later in the afternoon, I post something on fb again,… ‘busy weekend, keep myself busy, don’t want to think something that didn’t exsist or won’t be happening’.

Uncategorized

My dear diary–20th jan

Sending him a email last night-telling that I wanted to see him b4 going to work in the morning. Txt me about 7.35am saying he online now, but won’t be long which is fine with me.

I’m not sure whether my comp or his comp having problem…which making me sick, I keep in trying but in vain.. he send me a msg saying he tired to this if I want to talk go on msn if not he have other things to do… *damn* I was piss off when I saw the msg. Txt him back, Idk what happen, u go and do ur other things and I also want to get ready to work. He said NO…I want to talk, I’m the one who wanted him 2 online early. I fired him back telling him…yea I’m the one who ask YOU on, b’cos of seeing you, since MY comp is not working, forget about it…and he just reply ok.

When I back to work, I did on my msn b4 I put my status offline, he did online on and off…and since I’m not there, he off to, he didn’t send me a msg or any thing. I’m the one is wrong…and I not going to bother him again. I’m really upset about this.

Busy at work, boss and agents is here-type all the name list and send NY card and asking Dan to get some stamp. After that I finish up what boss wanted me to do..updating Info bulletin , challenge and contest for this year. Still have time for me to sign all his NY card, while Ila helping me to put in the envelope.

Uncategorized

My diary–15th jan

Taking half day leave to go KL- actually going to take my mum medicine, at the same time, we just wanted to go shopping at Sg Wang. I get some clothes and a scaft for Alice..is suitable for her to used when she going to HK during new year…where she can celebrate NY and Valentine with HINS…lucky girl…We come back about 7.30pm…what a day.

Morning I did chat with Kent- he told me that he resting at home if he on..he be on, if not he want some rest after all the OT this week. Idk what he really thinking at the moments. I’m tired too…. Didn’t txt me on weekend either but I can see him online in fb, but didn’t approached me at all..that make me even sad.

He did txt me on Sunday nite – tell me he’s ok, at church at the moment and love & miss me. I ask him whether he going to be online in the evening – he txt me saying maybe will txt me later…gosh is Sunday nite- he don’t even have time for me.

We did chat for a while, he was tired and I give him a big big hugs..other than that..nothing much..told him that I was taking half day- he ask me how come and ask whether I’m ok?? I know he worry about me.

Fic/Story

If Tomorrow Never Comes

Sometimes late at night

I lie awake and watch her sleeping

She’s lost in peaceful dreams

So I turn out the lights and lay there in the dark

It was about 6am on Sunday.

He walked by the river near his new house in which his beautiful wife was still sleeping. The house was two floors high and had big windows opening to the sea into which the river merged. He had often started out into the horizon since it seemed to have a calming affect on him. To see all the seagulls flying freely and peacefully and to share the first sunrays of the day with his wife.

Today however everything was different.

He couldn’t put a finger on why, but something made him feel different. He just felt there was something missing.

There was a wooden bridge crossing the river and that was the place where he had asked the most important question in his life. His mind drifted into her magical moment…

He had taken her hand into his and he kneeled down on one knee, “would you, my love…” he took a deep breath, “….would you marry me?” He could still remember her amazement and for a second he had thought it would all be over for them and she would turn him down. But then, as the last rays of the setting sun sparkled in the river and played their eternal game in the water, she gave him the answer he had wished-no, prayed for to once get. “Yes…”the tears lived down her cheeks as she repeated it again, “Yes, my love. Of course I will marry you….”

And the thought crossed my mind

If I never wake in the morning

Would she ever doubt the way I feel

About her in my heart

The day had been a day to remember. Never had he felt such a deep love and commitment into anyone else. He pretty much doubted he’d never will. That was when he realized how happy he was, how blessed he had been to have an angel like her in his life.

He leaned on the parapet and a breeze hit his face as he closed his hazel eyes. That was when the thought crossed his mind. ‘How could she know how much I really love her?’ A lonely tear suddenly appeared from his eye, a tear he never expected to share. He cried because he loved her so much. They say that in the end love makes you cry, and he had always thought it would be because love would abandon him. Now he knew it was because the love he felt was unconditional, irreplaceable and never ending.

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she’s my only one

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

“So what if tomorrow never came?’ he found himself thinking. ‘What if she never found out how much I love her?’

The thought hurt his heart. It made it cry large tears and almost broke it. He rested his head in his hands and once again closed his eyes, only to open them when a white dove landed onto the parapet, right beside him. He reached out to it but it flew off and soared right under the foggy clouds.

‘Cause I’ve lost loved ones in my life

Who never knew how much I loved them

Now I live with the regret

That my true feelings for them never were revealed

Like the dove, love could just as easily fly away if we didn’t cherish it. And God knows how much he loved her and he never wanted to let her go. Eventhough she would be an angel missing from heaven, he never wanted to live without her. The heaven would just have to find another way to survive, without her.  One thing he knew for sure. He wouldn’t survive without her.

So I made a promise to myself

To say each day how much she means to me

And avoid that circumstance

Where there’s no second chance to tell her how I feel

He realized that time was limited and that he should let his angel know every day just how much he loved her. No matter how dependent it would seem, she would hear the three inseparable words every single day of her life. I love you.

If tomorrow never comes

Will she know how much I loved her

Did I try in every way to show her every day

That she’s my only one

The sunlight was welling in the room she was sleeping in and it woke her up. She couldn’t see her husband sleeping beside her and knitted her brows. She grabbed her bathrobe from the chair next to the window and glanced out noticing him leaning against the parapet of the bridge. ‘What is he doing out there at this hour?’

She brushed her hair and got downstairs. A soft wind from the sea blew against her face as she opened the door to their garden. Once again she was amazed by the beauty of the place they were living in and the river was the most attractive feature in it. She finally reached the bridge and saw a tear on her husband’s cheek.

And if my time on earth were through

And she must face this world without me

Is the love I gave her in the past

Gonna be enough to last

If tomorrow never comes

“Kent ? sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He was startled and quickly wiped the tear he was well aware of away. He took her in his arms and hugged her tightly, never willing to let go. “Kent ? Has something happened?” She hugged him as well and rested her head on his shoulder. ‘Nothing, my love. There is just something I need to tell you.’ He pulled away from her and placed his hands onto her cheeks. ‘What?” She asked and touched his hand, eyes shinning brightly. “I love you more than anything in the world.”

So tell that someone that you love

Just what you’re thinking of

If tomorrow never comes

Song sang by Ronan Keating