LiteFm’s weekend Escape

I email my entry for LiteFM’s weekend escape with 3D 2N stay at DoubleTree by Hilton…
Here what i wrote….It is one of the days that I need to recharge my batteries, that why I deserve this escape. Escape from the stress and grueling pack of the rat race. Need to sleep in peace, quiet and wake up to the soft music J Beside I need to sit on the deck of the restaurant by the water (erghh..not in the hotel) eat fresh and health foods…*yummy* (imagine in my mind now…)

After all those I need to go back home get rested, content and get ready for another long haul.


Dear Diary….continue

Spoken to Alice on Mon, talk about our trip. She actually going to HK to met HINS (for theatre) she wanted to see the show, she lied to her mum that she going to Singapore.. 4D 3N…goodness, well, that my friends…haha!!!!

She even tell me that she get upset easily because of stress. When we have lot of work we get hot temper very fast..and is going to explode anytime. I use to last time, but after all that now I think about bit positively..still not open up, I won’t get upset when boss ask me to do this and that, but sometime I will say thing…*sigh*I was hoping for a chance, voice out what I’ve been inside of me, don’t put in the heart. I do believe that.

Lily look for me y’terday, asking me to type her resume that she wanted, and chat with my mum bout Taiwan trip. Before she here, I read The Secret, I found out that more powerful words that have been in store in my mind now… is like this : Remember those



Does God exist ?

I Read your blog with heavy heart, and felt your pain, my dear daughter. Have you realized that the reason the topic of God weighted so heavily on your mind was because He is pressing the issue.

I have come to learn that God wants to be known. He created us with the intention that we would know him. He has surrounded us with evidence of himself and He keeps the question of his existence squarely before us.

In fact, the day I chose to acknowledge God’s existence, my prayer made the most sense only to me. The underlying reason why atheists are bothered by people believing in God might be because God is actively pursuing them.

Just like you, night after night, feeling the steady, unrelenting approach of Him whom I so earnestly desired not to meet, reminds me that I am who I am because He believed I had the strength to do whatever I pledged to him to undertake.

I say the same prayers like a robot, too sometimes in a haste, sometimes mindlessly and most times out of guilt.

God is god, and we pray for his guidance to do only the best we can without being judged. Just like you, I have had dejected and reluctant moments, but He never deserts me nor criticizes my weakness.

Somehow, I realize that I have all the time to do so many other thins, yet spending at least five minutes to stay a decent prayer and talk to him always seems to be so difficult. Yet I continue to remember the words above grandfather’s prayer room, “God has time for you, do you have time for God ?”

These days I pray for y health because all the money in the world cannot help me buy that precious life line. I realize that I need my strength to give you, your sister and grandmother an existence worth pursuing. I have to stay calm, go slow and be patient to do so many things that are somehow out of my control.

No wealth in the world can make its owner any happier if he/she questions the length of his/her own existence. So, there may be bad days, or confusing, mindless, clueless, insane and screaming waking moments in your mind. Yet it is only with God that you can share them with. It is He who throws you a challenge, and He who shows you the wisdom of the choices you make for yourself alone.

And as I have so often said, school, college and university are only one chapter of your life that you are now struggling with. There will come other more difficult and serious chapters in time, and having the strength and believe in your maker often keeps you on the course you take in this journey called “life”.

Do not choose to only blame God when you feel guilty about your own selfishness and ignorance. When you question yourself, you are already acknowledging your guilt. Cherish your time with God because every minute of your time is special to him.

To believe is to have a personal experience with God. He speaks to all of us in our own minds. You may have your doubts and feel that you have this battle between you and God now. Pray in your heart and hold him in your thoughts. Seek his blessings for every single moment, no matter how good or bad.

When you are at peace with yourself, He will come to you just as silently as you go to him.

This articles taking from Star Mag…..by Kaleesh S


Last Weekend

Going down to KL on sat b’cos mum check up in the Chinese physician. Wait for Ling at See place, we going to going shopping in MidValley. I did ask Ivy whether she want to follow us but I never though my brother and her are going too, and they arrived early that use. Parking in The Gardens.. have a walk , get a skirt for myself and Heng as well. Then we going to have our lunch at Taiwanese café in upper floor The Garden. Wow..lot of people have to wait, so I going to walk at the Borders.. where I found the book called The Secret (I intend to buy it long time ago but is expensive) when I see 50% discount..but no leh..is still cost RM79.90.. have to buy it anyway.

After lunch we going to MV.. didn’t get anything, I want to get shoe but can’t find any.. so sad huh…Reach home bout 5pm…early rite, you can guess how fast my sister drive, cannot get to sleep cos my carrying Keith and he’s asleep.

On Thursday is a public holiday here- 1Malaysia konon… get another PH.. is good.. going out with Lily to Terminal 1.. just for a walk. Just get something for Ila…come back almost 5pm, then she told me she wanted to go pasar malam pula..so she stay at my place till 6.15pm and come back an hour later. I met with MR GAN.. my Form 3 form sir… well guess what he still recognize me, very good memory..haha!!!!


Dear Diary,

I know that I have been writing down all my daily routine, but I guess is not that special, now I wrote it is because I want to remember myself for some special occasions that had been happening around me. This morning I check in my mail..i get reply from Larry and Wallace. I did open my heart to Larry and Wallace.. I don’t know what should I do.maybe open for him as well.. What do you think???? He reply like this : You can trust me ok? I am not like other guys,am different.

I will like to be there for you when you grow old,i will be your companion.

All i ask for is the chance to love you thats all.

Fondly, Wallace…

I have ask Peter bout it (another British friend who be with me all the time. I will tell him everything… I can trust him, he been with me all this while.
Yesterday was 22nd Sept and that was Mid-Autumn Festival or known as Moon Cake Festival.. This is the first year that we didn’t celebrate it cos is not weekend, other family members didn’t come back and children are schooling. Well, I though boss will ask me to go back early but NO.. I can see other agency go back early , anyway is okie.. I like it here is so quiet and peaceful good for me to finish up my books..hehe!!!! I did finish it up. Call Wong for the travel insurance that she requested earlier, and go to her place to collect magarine.

Sending out message to friends and of course to Angie, is about 2 weeks didn’t txt her after she coming back from Bandung, Indonesia…as well as myself. Ask her whether she want to go out for a drink on Sat, she agree with me.. and I’m going to paid her back what I have borrow for me couple of month back without interest..haha!!! anyway I don’t want to think bout the bad things now. Chat with Bernice for a while, is boring chatting better to do some reading. Start with The Secret that I brought from the Borders, MidValley.

Will review my trip from day 1 to day 6 to Aussie….


^^Words Alone^^

Words alone cannot express what I feel.
My heart is aching, needing what is real.
Time flew by, although right by your side.
But it’s in times like this, that I just cant deny.

You have my heart.
You have my soul.
You have my trust.
It’s all yours to hold.

I trust you with everything.
It’s terrifying, but true.
My life is literally nothing without you.

That cold damp evening,
When I first heard your voice,
It hit me like a freight train,
and I knew I had no choice.

It’s completely amazing,
How immediately you know
When you found that someone
Who you just cannot let go.

You are that someone.
Perfection you can say.
You are that someone
Who took all my pain away,

I plan to show you forever,
Just how you helped me heal.
I plan to use forever.
To show you this is real.


^^Letting Go^^

Today I found out that your feelings
for me are gone
They will no longer be here,
so I have to be strong
But the truth is, our feelings aren’t the same
My feelings for you still remain

I’m going to miss the times we were together
Saying our love would last forever
I never thought your love for me would end
And now I’m left with pain that will never mend

I wish I could see you one last time
So I can see what was once mine
I can still imagine you standing next to me
But I know it will never go back
to the way it used to be

And ever since that summer day
My love for you will always stay
But those are feelings I can no longer show
Because today, you let me go


Dear Blog

Is been a while that I didn’t write/tell what I have been thru for the last couple of week. It could be my mood to write it all down everyday…plus with all the internet relationship that I not really into it right now.. is all *rubbish*….There Ben, Brandon, Ted…..all are the past..didnt think about it anymore. I still chatting with the other..once in a while, cos I feel bore chatting with them…I have nothing to do with them…I just want friends that it…nothing more… That all I’m going to say.

Now I want to concentrate more on myself… I need self improvement…. My sub conscious mind…… After see the tarot card on Tuesday night (24th Aug) with Lily…I need some chances…. She told me that I have a lot of negative thought.. that what Lily told me when I told her about Ted…. Ask me not to think so much.. maybe he busy that he didn’t call.. but in my mind I know is a fake..what ever things he told me.. anyway is over now..

The next day.. I talk to Zul about Joseph Murphy books…about sub conscious mind.. he share his story to me… and from this day onward…i feel relieved.. and I think of something useful to do and I use my mind to tell me what to do… He ask me what I want most in life or something to do?? I told him I need to do business… but I need to think about the other things as well.. like model, location and the long term of it.. I told him bout with I want … I did print out some articles from Joseph Murphy…a books call Believe In Yourself… I read a couple of line..and I find it useful and to learn something new. From there I have some thing that I intend to do is exercise.. I don’t want to do it but my mind ask to wake up early in the morning to do it…..