**Vision of a Dream**

Sleeping, I’m dreaming visions of you
I feel you’re around me, feel your presents
Watching over me like you always do
And the air around me carries you scents

Holding my hand,
And touching my face
Just you and me,
In this peaceful place

We’ll drift away, on a gentle breeze
Where the heavens meet above the clouds
So far above the deepest blue seas
We’ll be alone away from the crowds

Still in my arms I held you tight,
I gently kissed your lips, sweet and tender,
As the fire-filled sky gave way to night.
Caught up in the night’s magic and splendor.

We’ll glide across the stars that spell your name
And on to wards the end of time and space
Through the sun and it’s burning flames
As we hold each other in an eternal embrace

Together we’ll test the bounds of forever
We’ll find the place our hearts have longed for
We won’t give up, there’ll be no surrender
In each other is where we’ll be Forevermore 

^^for my one and only ^^

i never thought this would happen,
that i think of you every now and then,
it’s weird how it turned out this way,
just merely your presence completes my day.

the way you make me smile,
in your own crazy style,
gives me an idea that you were sent,
that when i’m down, you’ll be my strength.

for the simple yet sweet things you’ve done,
for the moments of laughter and fun,
i’ve known a great part of you,
even though i never planned to.

no one knows if this will be forever,
but there’s one thing i want you to remember,
just be there as you always do,
‘coz i can’t afford to lose someone like you

My dear diary 25th feb

Not busy in the morning-thought of booking tix thru airasia-done everything computer hang-got feed up, close the tabs. Awi ask us whether we want to got out to JJ..wherelse and we eating at food court. Actually they have lot of variety but I don’t really like the food there.

Boss come in just after we back from JJ..ask me to write appeal letter to GE…which I did very fast and he approved of what I wrote. Trying to write mail to Sherine, have lot of things that I need to tell her. Boss out quite late-just check in my mail for a while.

Evening have dinner with Columbia staff-especially Kuan, Wong, Angie, Jenny, Mr Hoong and See.. supposed is 7pm and heavy rain and everyone is late. Kuan is the 1 who fetch me every though Jenny is the nearest 1. We having a good time, laughing away. We all go home about 10pm. As usual getting angpow from Kuan and Wong only, both of them give me each year. Kuan suddenly ask me about him and I tell her everything that I have been thru-from the beginning, actually he didn’t do anything at all-whether to me wif me or come over.. she ask me to forget about him-nv take a step forward.. tell her don’t worry about me- I’m fine with it.

Yesterday Elaine “belanja” every PA lunch at u – lucky at 12.30pm before 4 training. Interesting training called “PRUMY CHILD . Load of ppl in the room and I come out bout 4pm.

PH today-didn’t go anywhere-so sleepy but cannot get to sleep but online—posting poem + checking my mail + Farmville, what else in FB. Going out with Angie tomorrow noon…I think when she send her girl to tuition…but  I didn’t tell her about him, that only she ask me about it…other than that forget about it.

^^so In LoVe with YoU^^

Sitting here alone, looking at your photos      
Because it’s all I have of you right now
I can feel my love inside as it still grows
And I wish that I could make you feel it somehow

My love the deeper I look, I can feel your hand
Pressing softly against my chest, on my heart
And I know now, you’ve made me understand
That you’d never again tear my world apart

Oh baby I can see everything I do
Because I’m so in love with you
I can feel this time my heart is true
Because I’m so in love with you
I’m so in love with you

Looking at your lips, I hear you whisper my love
Just like you’re standing here beside me
I can feel you there, my angel my truelove
I can feel your warmth running so free 

My Tears , My Fears…..

I never knew love could
Be this way
I couldn’t see the pain and tears
And now their here to stay

Even though it’s been a lifetime now
The memories are as clear as yesterday
But I can’t see where we went wrong and how
I’m left wishing we could
go back to that one day

My Dreaming nights are filled with tears
And the words I speak are sounds of cries
It’s always been hard for me to sleep
Because my soul is filled with fears
And a past that’s filled with endless lies

I’ve done so many things, but none where right
I’ve lived my life with nothing to show
So it’s time now, time to walk to the light
Cause I don’t have anywhere else to go…

^^ONE^^

One Look, I was captured by your eyes
Left staring into your deepest parts
Where you passion and your loves lies
The place where I see our hearts

One Touch, I was brought down to me knees
So warm, so gently and feelings so strong
They entered every part of me with such ease
Gave me a taste of love, I saw where I belong

One Kiss, I was ready to take to the skies
Flying by your side, forever soaring so free
Under your wings seeing the world
through your eyes
And letting the moon and stars
shine on you and me

One Word, I felt you opening my soul
I felt your presence deep inside burning
You filled every empty space every hole
You gave me all I needed, gave me everything

^^My SouL^^

My Soul lies beyond the clouds and space
That’s where it waits for you; burning bright
Wanting your gentle touch, your warm embrace
The caress of your wings,
where everything’s all right

Spread your wings and fly towards me
Rise to the heavens with your guiding heart
Following the voice of my soul, follow its plea
You’ll never be alone we’ll never be apart

It’s counted every second you’ve been away
Waiting restlessly, faithfully it’ll always wait
For your return home, for you to stay
I’ve always known from the start you’re my fate

So here I am waiting and I’ll wait for a lifetime
Because I’ve known that all I’ve needed is you
My heart’s always wanted you
even after all this time
It’s always dreamt of finding a love so true

contiune with the last mail…

this was his reply. do i believe what he said now??? this is last mail that im received from him. is been a week now..and im getting over it. can we be friend that we wanted it to be?? Im not avoiding him, but he is…..

first of all, i am trying, i have tried more than you think, i am always there for you, i never did anything but love you, yes a 1 year and a 1/2 and nothing, i DID NOT BLAME YOU, i know you are hurting its killing me too, its just not working out right now, i have also told you from the start, if i find someone i will tell you and you do the same, i havent but i need to have someone at my convenience as well, just like you need me at your convenience when i that is what i do ALWAYS
i cant call you, i didnt know the steps and im not using excuses either
money has always been the problem and i am trying to change that
i am not breaking up with you just to say it, im changing our relationship a little so its not more pressure and hurtful not being together, you and i both know we were hopeful but also living a DREAM
i truly do love you and i know that you are the ONE for me, and i hope it the next couple of months to a year, that i will come into something to make that happen
you can hate me all you want, you know its not going to change the way i fell and love you
im not looking at just me baby, but you have to understand, our love is a lot different than others and im SORRY
i dont need to have hateful mail from you, i just need your understanding and hopefulness for this decision, if i was there or you were here, we would be married i promise you that, i will never give up on us, i just need a change and a chance to get my life and situation fixed
I LOVE YOU, I ALWAYS WILL, YOU ARE MY ANGEL AND MY LOVE FOR ALWAYS

continue with mail…2

question that i want to know and been in store in my heart for too long..and is time for me to voice out….

First of all …U r the 1 who change our status to complicated b’cos we are far apart
Now….U r the 1 who wanted to change it back.. Why so sudden??
Your reason :
1. We won’t be able to meet ( is only 1 ½ yrs and u giving up so easily without trying)
2. Is MONEY (is the cost of everything- I wanted to meet u but U can’t get the loan- and we could have meet half way) DO YOU EVER GIVE IT A TRY???
3. Frustrusted and angry cos we can’t be together ( U know fr the beginning do u ?? Why u fall in love me in the first place, u have giving me hope, that I found some1 who really love me)
4. U always said we could have out something /and u always said is not working at all. DO YOU EVER EVER TRY TO WORK THING OUT???
5. Do you ever call me once?? NO….why??? Why do u think I want to call u b’cos I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU…when I didn’t talk to you, I want to hear it from you…but now…

All that is easy to said than done..!!!!!! U ONLY SAID IT BUT U NOT DONE IT … YOU THINK U R THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FEEL IT?? WHAT BOUT ME, DO U ASK ME HOW I FEEL???? U ONLY FEEL WHAT U THINK AND WITH UR LIFE AND I DON’T HAVE A LIFE………..

I was thinking whether u really care or love me like u always do?? I’m so disappointed in you..giving u so easily or b’cos you have found some1 who is 100% better than me, who can give u everything u needed in YOUR LIFE…ONLY IN YOUR LIFE …that I cant give u right now. I always remember every single words , and I don’t believe u actually make the decision to end it ….

U love me and doesn’t want to HURT ME??? U R THE ONLY ONE THAT HURT ME VERY BADLY !!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!! NOW I BELIEVE WHEN PPL SAID- THE ONE WHO LOVE YOU THE MOST IS THE ONE WHO HURT YOU BADLY. When I told my friend bout u in the beginning-they said long distance relationship is not going to work, I want to make it out, but u didn’t want it to.
Is really hit me very badly and I don’t believe myself that I actually cry b’cos OF YOU, KENT. I been cry for the whole day , my friend told me is just because I have put so much afford in this so call relationship that I actually didn’t have one.

THE DAY WE MEET WILL BE NOT ONLY THE BEGINNING BUT WILL BE THE FUTURE AS WELL???? REMEMBER WHAT U SAID…IS NOT FUTURE FOR U BECAUSE U MAKE THE DECISION TO END IT.

Thank you for giving me a chance to love you. Is the most happiest day in my life. Hope you found ur soul mate who can give u every thing u want and need. That all I wanted to said..

Sorry is not going to heal back how i feel about you. Is ur decision and not mine.. i want to make it work….but no you.

contiune with the mail….1

that not way i want it okie…is my hope and dream been shutter and never never going to be happen rite now.

his reply :

its been my dream to be with you the rest of my life too, if i had the money and resources, believe me baby, you would be here, no questions asked, i have nevere been loved as i have been from you and thats what made this harder, youre valentine card made me cry because you love me so much, but i have to make a decision and im sorrry